I am glad that I have drill this weekend. Once again, the Army has come through for me. It is keeping me busy and getting me out of the apartment for the weekend. I got to talk to people about everything and nothing... and have a general change of scene and society... and that carries a value that is hard to enumerate. So now I'm safely ensconced in a hotel room while the snow falls outside.
I am still feeling angry and resentful to a certain degree, but honestly it's actually quite small. Mostly I just feel sad... sad that it didn't work out, sad that there are others still working there, sad for those who hurt me. And it's a real feeling of pity.... I'm sorry that they are so convinced of their rightness, their perfection, and yet seemingly so unhappy. I don't think that many of those who treat others badly are particularly happy themselves. There is usually something they are trying to protect, be it turf, or something deep inside of themselves. So really I feel more pity than anything else.
Even though this makes my situation financially rather precarious, I need to move forward and not spend all that time and energy on anger and resentment. It's fine to acknowledge them, but not to live in them. I'm going to forgive and move on.
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